A Grateful Heart

Have you ever had one of those weeks where nothing goes right??! Last week was that week. Let's start with the minor junk.....
I owe money to the IRS... yeah, you heard that right... OWE.
Our heat went out Thursday night. Bah.
And the icing on the cake... I woke up Friday morning wanting nothing but a Dr. Pepper. I've seriously cut back on the regular Dr. P's but I just had to cave and have one. I drop McKenna off at the sitter and arrive at the gas station, guess what they're out of? Oh yeah. So I had to settle for Mt. Dew and it's just not great in the morning after you brush your teeth.

Disclaimer: The next portion of my post is based on my opinion only. This is my blog and this is how I feel. 

I knew that being a mommy of a preemie would present difficulties, I knew this. I've said this before. The NICU rep discussed things with us before McKenna was born but honestly I was on a completely different planet. If anyone else has experienced Magnesium Sulfate, you'll understand. Mag is generally given to keep someone from having a seizure. Mag was the reason everyone hated me for a brief period of time, my hospital room was 55 degrees in the middle of winter and I was sweating. It's funny now, not so funny then. So yeah, this is what I was on while some representative was trying to explain things to me. Nothing made sense. hashtag-  preeclampsia and HELLP problems. We received the difficult news this week that McKenna is behind in speech. It was a hard blow but we'll pull through it. It's so hard when you see these people with perfect pregnancies. To the girl with the swollen ankles and puffy face who spent her entire pregnancy whining about said ankles and face but who gives birth to a perfectly healthy baby; at least you don't have to watch your baby grown in a heated box. To the momma of 3 and her children are driving her up the wall, be grateful that you could have 3, some people don't even get the opportunity to have 1. I say these things to not only remind every one else how grateful they should be but to remind myself. I have a beautiful little girl and if the biggest setback we face is a little speech therapy then we're going to be just fine.

This weekend I took a wild notion and decided to bake. I pulled a recipe off pinterest called Sweet Corn Spoon Bread.
1 box of jiffy corn bread mix
1 cup of sour cream
1 can of regular corn
1 can of cream corn
3 eggs
1 1/2 cup of butter aka 1 stick melted.

Mix all together and bake on 375 for 30-45 minutes. It's a great side dish and really scratched my baking itch.

I'm going to close with a quote from James E. Faust: A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.

10 Years?!??

Ladies... Today I'm going to start with the "w" word... You know, weight. 

My high school reunion is literally 5 months away, SHOUT OUT TO THE C/O 2006, and I honestly thought I would be skinny by now. Those of you that know me know that I have a very loving relationship with Chinese food and Dr. Pepper. I'm never going to be skinny. That's just it. Period. However, I'm challenging myself to lose 20 lbs by the time my reunion rolls around.. You know, so that at least my face will look skinny in selfies. Because who takes full body pics anymore? 

My little sister will graduate this year and a month later, I will rejoin the class of 2006 for one big party. I'm crossing my fingers for that open bar. We were riding down the road the other day and she was talking about how she couldn't wait to walk down "the hill" and I remember telling her the same thing my parents kept telling me, don't wish it away. 

And it's completely true...I'm not going to tell you that high school was the happiest time of my life, because it wasn't but what I will say is that it was the freest I've ever felt. (Is freest even a word? Oh well)

I've been thinking a lot about 10 years ago and the friends I've lost touch with. It's really sad when you think about it, the whole "friends forever" thing is such a lie but we allow ourselves to hold on until it all starts to drift away. 

When reunion time rolls around will my old friends and I just pick up where we left off or will it be super awkward?

I said all of that to say this... No matter how difficult things may seem, don't wish it away. We'll never get this time back. Hug your babies, your parents and your loved ones. 

So to close this all out, here's a picture of me the summer before senior year... It goes down as one of my favorites. 

I know...

Well, it's 2016... and I've been super lazy/busy. Let's see, the highlights of 2015 include:
-I left my long term job to try out a new career, it didn't work out so well so I'm right back to where I started my career.
-McKenna is a happy 2 year old with an obsession with Kitty Cats and Cookies.
-Hubs started school to finish up his nursing degree and begin his NP studies.

Being the mommy of a preemie baby has been extremely challenging in certain areas. McKenna didn't walk until she was 18 months old and it was very discouraging. She says a few words at this point but not as much as her doctor's office would like. It's very difficult for someone to tell you that your child is behind and needs special care. There are days where I feel like she's the smartest kid in the room and the shock of hearing someone say that she's below average is devastating.

There have been so many things weighing hard on my shoulders here lately that I decided to turn back to the outlet that help get me through one of the hardest things that I've ever had to endure. I've missed my blog and I hope that it missed me.

I have a feeling that 2016 is going to be a tough year, but like all other things, I'll take it like a champ!

Cheers All!

I'M BACK!

Starting 2015.... super late...

Well I'm back....and hopefully this time things will stick.

I don't know about the rest of you but somehow my New Years resolutions never seem to stick.... I always set insane goals and am super bummed when I don't get even close to accomplishing them. What I forget is all the things I have accomplished that weren't on the list. 2014 has been a very unforgettable year in my life... my munchkin was born, we spent 6 weeks in the NICU and I discovered what it truly meant to love someone unconditionally. My husband continued to put up with my craziness.... my gallbladder exited me but left behind a flesh eating bacteria. I left a job that I had practically grown up at and finally received something in the little blue box.

This time last year this blog was an outlet for me, to not only communicate with my family and friends about the struggles of being a first time parent of a preemie but also an outlet of frustration for when things did not go exactly as I had planned. Last year you witnessed my struggles of trying to be a working mommy, a blonde mommy and a interactive mommy... I'm sure some of you just read because you thought it was a trainwreck ready to happen. This year, you're going to see something no one has ever seen before....... domestic Kayla.

That's right. Most of you know that I'm not very domestic.... I'd rather pay someone to do it for me. This year I'm pledging to do at least 1 DIY project a week to save money and to prove to myself that I can do it. I'm also going to learn to save.... most of you also know that I'm not cheap. I like designer hand bags and little blue boxes but if I'm ever going to get the coveted title of "stay at home mommy" I'm going to have to learn to do simple things at half the price.

This week I took on 2 projects.... first, I decided instead of the traditional cake for McKenna's birthday party, I would be making the cupcakes...myself.... and that's what I've done. I've also made all the finger foods. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks!??! Also, today I was cruising Pinterest (as many of us do) and found a recipe of DIY body wash.... It was so simple I had to do it....

All you need:

2 bars of soap (I used Dove but whatever your poison may be)

6 cups of water

1 table spoon of coconut oil.

Grate the soap into a small container. I had an old grater laying around that I've never used so that's what I used. Then pour all six cups of water into a pan... It needs to have some depth. Bring the water to a boil and then mix in the coconut oil and soap shavings... DO NOT WISK... or your kitchen will look like your washer overflowed. Keep on medium until shavings melt and then take off the heat and let set for 2 hours. I used old mason jars to put mine in... again... that's your poison.

For the first time in a long time I feel really accomplished and I can't wait to see what 2015 has in store for my little family!!!

Back with a Bang

It's time to come out of hiding....

I've been away from my blog for FAR too long but as of recent I've read several articles and posts that haven't been setting right with me. {it's a southern expression, you'll get used to it}

Before I get into my rant, I would like to update everyone on my sweet little munchkin... She's just amazing and she blesses me every day. She's 9 months old and 16.5 lbs. Her blue eyes light up when she sees her daddy and her dish water blonde hair is getting thick up top. 

We as women, not as mommies or wives or whatever your situation may be, need to be more supportive of each other. It's come to my attention (the internet is a powerful thing, y'all) that there are "mommy bullies" out there. That's not cool ladies. I'm going to lose friends over this but it needs to be said: do not judge me or anyone else for feeding their child formula. Unless you are a pediatrician or a lactation nurse, you have zero authority on what is best for my child. I, along with many other women, lost my ability to breast feed while my daughter was in the NICU. It may be natural but sometimes nature doesn't always work out, or I would have been able to carry McKenna full term and have a "normal" birthing experience. Don't judge me for my c-section scar, I had no choice. We should be supporting each other's decisions, not making each other feel like mommy poo. I would never ever judge someone for breast feeding so don't judge me for my inability to. 

I haven't written in months and I decided to come back with a bang but lately I've seen WAY too many articles about women feeling ostracized for things that are sometimes out of their control. So please, support each other, don't turn your nose up at me until you know my story. 

ABC's of me!

So I’m a loser today and feeling kind of narcissistic so I decided to pull out one of these cheesy myspace quizzes. It was kind of fun but some of these questions were kind of dumb… Oh well. Before you dive into the ABC’s of me… here’s a few pics of my sweet girl from yesterday.

A. Age: I’m a happy 26 with a couple laugh lines but no crow’s feet.

B. Bed size: Queen. I love my bed.

C. Chore you hate:  Ha! I’m no good at chores. Seriously, ask my husband. He would probably just rather that I stay away from things LOL

D. Dogs: um no. I’m not a dog person. Yeah? So what? I’m a cat person. That’s it… I’m going to be a cat lady.  

E. Essential start to your day: Spark, mascara, and hairspray.

F. Favorite color: Green

G. Gold or Silver: White gold.

H. Height: Hobbit size at 5’1

I. Instruments you play: I couldn’t even play the recorder in elementary school correctly so I gave up on my dream of being able to tell a “this one time at band camp,” story but I do have several of “this one time at thespian conference…” and “this one time on the forensic bus…” stories.  

J. Job Title: In-Charge… No really, that’s what my position is called. I’m an In-charge.

K. Kids: One daughter and that’s it. I’m done.  

L. Live:  a noble life.

M. Married:  Since 05/2009--- I took his name and sanity.

N. Nicknames: KB, KBD

O. Overnight hospital stays: 2. Both concerning the birth of my daughter. First there was a 24 hour observation that turned into a 10 day stay. I was plotting my escape route when they finally let me go home for Christmas. The next was 20 days later when my doctor thought I was having normal pregnancy pains but my blood work told a different story. My daughter was c-sected out of me 4 hours later.

P. Pet peeve: Being on time and being kind to people.

Q. Quote: Really? I have too many to count but probably that sums me up is “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” 

R. Righty or Lefty: I’m pretty sure this is a double entendre, but right. Either way you take this... right.

S. Siblings:  1 sister that is 10 years younger.  

T. Time you wake up: 4am… Thank the Lord for Spark.

U. University attended:  Austin Peay… but I was asked to not come back without a wad of cash. That’s a different story for a different day. Ha

V. Vegetables you dislike:  Celery. Bah. Celery.

W. What makes you run late: My love of sleep.

X. X-rays you've had: I can’t think of any.  

Y. Yummy food: I love Chinese but the sodium levels in it do not set well with my BP so I generally only get it like once a month.  

Z. Zoo animal favorite: I hate the zoo. Animal kingdom at Disney World was hell for me and I’m sure that one day McKenna will just have to go. Sigh.

Christmas in June!!!

Christmas in June…. I always enjoy when happy things show up on my door step… Thanks FedEx!

(Short fangirl happy dance)

My energy just arrived and I couldn’t be happier. When you have to wake up at 4am, yes, you heard right..4am, for work, you need all the energy you can get!

Anywho, besides being extremely giddy for my Spark, I also had a day of beauty. I sooooo needed this.  I’m pretty sure my roots were going to jump out of my head if I didn’t get them taken care of.

My glamor technician, Jess, is a genius. Let me know if you need a glamor genius, I'll get y'all in touch!! 

My beautiful little bug was 5 months old yesterday! When I think about the last 5 months and what it took to get her home with us, I am even more thankful for her. It breaks my heart when I hear about so many premature babies, I think back to when that was McKenna and it’s hard. I’ve never experienced anything more rewarding and wonderful than motherhood. I never used to cry this much, I think this grinch’s heart has grown 2 sizes. She’s my miracle, my love and my best friend. When I’m having a bad day, I know that just seeing her will make me feel like a brand new person.  I feel so sorry for Winston when she gets old enough to enjoy shopping with me.

My random new blender bottle. I feel like I don't even use real cups anymore!!

This blog is such a blessing for me; it gives me an opportunity to communicate with complete strangers and past friends who I haven’t seen in so long. You ladies are so inspirational and I love hearing from y’all!