A Tribute and An Update

It's with a heavy heart that I write this today. Last night, my best friend's grandmother went to be with The Lord. Nanny was one of the most wonderful women I've ever met, the loved matriarch in her family, she always put the needs of her family above her own. She was the best cheerleader that my best friend and I had. When we were thought to be "bad influences" on each other, Nanny was in our corner. At 10 years old, I never imagined that the "lady with ther perfect eyebrows" would become one of my greatest supporters and would change my life when she brought her granddaughter to church, this particular granddaughter would become my best friend, my sister and one of my biggest fans. Now as I sit here and think about how much that simple act of a grandmother just being a grandmother and trying to get her granddaughter to go to church changed my life, tears fill my eyes. I loved Nanny so much and I will miss her terribly, she was a wonderful, Godly woman and a strong woman. I was blessed just to know her but I know that she will always be watching, not only after her family but also after the little girl who suddenly started calling her Nanny and stealing her granddaughter away after church. 

I'm going to update on McKenna but I needed to write about Nanny first. She would have loved McKenna. My baby gained 2 ounces last night and is continuing to progress. She's been taking 10 mls out of a bottle, she's still a while off from taking it all out of the bottle but she's getting there. Days are still tough, especially when the doctors round and I feel like they're "rating" my daughters progress but I guess that's just me being me. My thoughts on people have changed but that "don't trust anyone" philosophy is a tough one to kick. 

I understand that people are full of advice, but this is my blog to vent and perhaps help someone else, who may be in my position, know that it's okay to feel this way, it's normal. I've had a huge outreach from people who have experienced this and it's been wonderful, I appreciate everything. I do my best to be positive for my baby and my husband but sometimes I just want to throw something so I figure that this is better than throwing things. 

-k